Updated: Nov 19, 2020
I started reading a new book recently that teaches you about gratitude and one of the tasks it wanted me to do was pick the one thing in my life right now that may be causing me negativity or pain and then list why you are grateful for it. Looking past all the negative and seeing only the positive. The more you feel gratefulness in this negative/painful situation or in any for that matter, the more you except more good things to come into your life and the bad can not have control over you.
I chose to write about my Cancer and one of the reasons I was grateful for it was because it has taught me in such a short amount of time just how precious life really is. You hear it all the time, people saying life is so precious, but to actually FEEL it in your soul and live by it is a completely different story. To know each day when you wake up is a gift, not to just say it, but feel it! When your feet touch the floor as you get up, to know what a gift that is.
I didn't always feel those things because let's be honest, we all get busy and caught up in the thing called "life".. we rush, we pack our schedules full, we don't stop and always smell the roses like we should, but now I see life is more then just doing your day to day tasks, jobs, and routines, those things may contribute to happiness, but are not the source of it. When you can truly feel gratitude for everything in your life (the good AND the bad), I feel it's then you see how precious life is. It's then you truly and passionately, start to live.
A month ago my life changed forever and forever is strong because it means no longer will I be able to go back to what was, but I'm ok with that because there is a bigger and better plan ahead. Everything I new and thought I new about life would be tested and changed in literally a flash or more like a phone call. My daily routine would be changed, my focus would change, I would become a better person because of my Cancer, but I didn't know that right away as you would think how could Cancer (something that takes the lives of many) cause you to become a better person? And I'll be honest my positive attitude is not something I magically get, each day I have to fight, I ward off my bad thoughts with Hope & Faith that they don't win that day and with each day I do this, I persevere; I beat the Cancer. I am grateful.
I learn more and more about myself each day now, more then I have ever in my entire life. How grateful I am, learning to stay positive, to think positive, to not let this sadness run me. To except it, but to Fight for myself, to stand up for myself, to speak from my heart and not hold back. A good attitude simply comes with hard work. Sure there are days I cry, days I wish so badly I could go back a month ago and get a call that said "it's not cancer verses it is cancer" to have my "normal" life back, to not have a million more things added to our plate and all the worries that come along with it, but then I wouldn't be here. Writing this, with such a clear vision of how life should be lived. This is my "New Normal" and I'm ok with that because this has shown me even deeper how grateful for this life I am and how to truly live each and every moment and day to the fullest because sadly many people don't ever learn this or feel it. Many people wait for a positive experience to feel grateful for it and for life, that's when you will find God will teach you, maybe even test you and that WILL change you! Again, you must be grateful for the Good AND the Bad, for there are lessons in both.
Now, my cancer may not be a gift, but what we have and will learn from it is a gift. That is why I'm grateful for my Cancer because a very long, long time from now when it is my time, I want to truly say I have no regrets, I loved and lived so deeply, that my life was full and I was grateful for EVERY single second.
Be Grateful. 💜