Updated: Mar 23, 2022
It has been a journey and for those who have followed our journey with cancer over the past several years, you know a bit of it! Cancer gave us a detour six years ago, but we road the path with faith, prayer, and with a will to never give up or let the negative eat us away. We pulled all the good we could from it. We spread and continue to do so, so much positivity from such a scary time during our lives that so many others experience and may not have the strength to share on.
Cancer was a brief time in my life, but it has altered the rest of my life. In a sense that I will live that much better and never stop sharing and trying to inspire those around me who may need the reassurance that, they too can do hard/scary/painful things and still come out even stronger AND with an even bigger purpose! We can do the impossible because we have been through the unimaginable! Not just in the instance of cancer, but in all of life’s trials and battles that we all go through or face at some point. I’ve been battling long before my cancer, having to grow up around addiction and a lot of traumatic events, I don’t think cancer had any idea who it was messing with!
So, just a little blurb about my appointment yesterday. If you caught my social media post you kinda got this similar rundown. I have been seeing my Oncologist for six years now, actually since before my oldest Logan was born (so realistically almost 7 years) as I was pregnant with my oldest, who is now 6, when I found my cancer. *If you haven’t read the beginning of this journey be sure to click back on the earlier blog posts under this section and catch up! You won’t want to miss the inspiring message behind all of this. Anyway, six+ years of this. The past few of being in remission and still needing constant (every three months) follow ups, blood draws, scans, etc., but as of yesterday it has finally come to an END! What a surreal feeling and it actually feels much longer than six+ years because so much else has happened between all that time.
I mean two more kiddos added to our family, we lost a son in between Logan and Mason at 14-15 weeks pregnant, then I got severely ill several months after Mason was born and ended up being diagnosed with Severe Celiacs Disease which I never consumed gluten (at least I didn’t know if I did as it could of been hidden in SO many *Healthy* things as I’ve come to learn very well), but I have to stay clear of it at all times or it attacks my body, it’s far from a mild allergy for me. When it first attacked my body/intestinal tissue it lead me to a six day hospital stay back when it all began. This is a common issue that can develop after having Lymphoma and post chemotherapy the specialist told us. I now have to be scoped (endoscopy) every other year to have biopsies taken to make sure I do not develop Intestinal Lymphoma. Severe Celiacs Disease actually increases your chances of Intestinal Lymphoma and with me already having Lymphoma all over my body in the past, well it’s obvious we have to stay proactive on this now. My level of Celiacs Disease attacks my intestinal tissue immensel, which damages the all the things that helps it do it’s job including the lymph tissue (in short and sweet laymans terms lol), but so far so good! I have my days with it as my GI system has never been the same post chemotherapy, but it’s managed well.
*This was me coming out of my most recent biopsy procedure just feeling happy that it was over! Lol They found a few benign polyps in my stomach from the wearing down the Celiacs causes on my GI tissue, but other than that I’m good to go until my next biopsy in 2024!
I know I’m getting a little off track here, just so much came rushing over me yesterday (and some things I have not yet shared on this blog), all of the ups and downs these past six years, not to feel sorry for myslef, but to actually say, DANG GIRL! YOU DID IT! And you are STILL doing it! All that has happened it such a short amount of time and I didn’t give up, I used the tough stuff to help build my message which has lead me to an even bigger purpose and I want to share it with the world! Even if I only change a few lives, but I know I can do that and more!
There has been just so much in these past several years that could of held me back/down, but I didn’t let it. I grew in it even when I felt I was wilting at some points. I had to work hard yet again and Again, but I did it and continue to do it. From anxiety/postpartum depression which tried to keep stuck (not for long, but that shits it’s own animal and if you’ve came through those gates too and even still battle it, I commend you). I have been and worked through it all and still have to sometimes, through tears, anger, negative self talk, allllllll the feels. But I put in the work, I fought so damn hard for myslef to become what I am in this exact moment. Since a young child! I share my weaknesses and strengths because they both have served me to get to here. I don’t ever want to come off as perfect or that I have it all figured out. I just want to share the RAW and REAL stuff that we can either let take over us OR turn it for GOOD! And I’m doing just that! I’ve been doing it since I was a little girl and yesterday was a big deep breath of fresh air for me. With eyes wide open, in a flash, I saw how we turned all of it for GOOD these past several years and continue to do so!
Getting back to yesterday again, sitting in the patient room for what felt like the thousandth time yesterday felt a whole lot different because it was my LAST visit to my Oncologist! Unless deemed necessary, I will not have to go back to the Smillow Cancer Center. I will have to take preventive action, like I have been, as Lymphoma does greatly increase your risks for several other cancers, but hey- I REMAIN CANCER FREE and all the praise goes to God as I hope to remain that way!
I don’t share my journeys to get the glory because friends that glory goes to God, but I do share for the simple fact that others can know HOPE from these journeys! To simply show that we CAN persevere and there is light at the end of the tunnel, it can benefit us greatly if we look for the MESSAGE in the MESS. How can I turn this into GOOD. Can I help someone else going through something similar, can I share my journey with others and maybe save a person from the darkness they are going through, can I pass some of my light to them? How can my MESS turn into my MESSAGE?! If we put faith over fear, gratitude at the center, and ALL the grace because let me tell you friends, God doesn’t need an unblemished canvas to create a masterpiece and that’s what Grace says. He often uses our DEEPEST pain as the launching pad of our Greatest Calling.
And I’m here to do mine. ❤️