Updated: Mar 23, 2022
Where are my people pleasers or recovering people pleasers?! 🙋🏼♀️ I have had to work at this over the years and still have to remind myself sometimes, to be able to straight up say/tell people/friends/family whoever I need to, no to things without explaining myself or without feeling guilty and man when you start doing it, it is SO EMPOWERING. You are saying NO out of strength and not YES out of weakness! That’s progress with our boundaries my friends!
We have ALL been in a position like this at some point where we have said yes just to please or to avoid a conflict and I get it, there are SOME (very few) exceptions depending on the situation that maybe saying yes is the best route, but definitely not if your heart isn’t in it and you have to FORCEFULLY (key word) say yes when it just doesn’t feel right in your soul. More times than not if you are saying yes to everything and everyone then it’s you needing to set Boundaries because the wrong people Will/or may already be taking advantage of your “always yes” mentality.
I’m here to say; you can be a good person with a Huge, Kind heart and STILL say No and whoever you are stating that to will be a little thrown off if it’s not your normal answer. So, it will be uncomfortable in the beginning because you are setting BOUNDARIES with people/friends/family that you may have never set boundaries with before and they can push back trying to break that boundary WHICH just goes to show the boundary was needed in the first freaking place! BOOM! So, you will get reactions from some that could come off as though they are mad or disappointed, but it natural to experience this and Healthy for it to happen in order to protect your own self and have good boundaries set for YOU. Remember, your boundary will only be a problem for those who do not know How to respect you. Period.
It’s a freeing feeling to say no and stand your ground towards things that do not serve your soul. Again, it is so empowering because no one can do this for you! Boundaries are tough and they can start by simply saying no when it’s what your heart feels is right.
Just remember a BOUNDARY is being fully AWARE of what is UNACCEPTABLE to you and normalizing saying NO in your relationships when necessary. Do what is best for YOU and know that it is or never was your RESPONSIBILITY to have to sacrifice YOURSELF for others. Always remember and a good rule of thumb, if you feel yourself becoming angry, resentful, or exhausted, in a situation/or relationship with someone, pay close attention to where you haven't set a healthy boundary. Like the quote states below, the more giving we are there will be certain people in the world that will have no problem taking and taking. So, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a giving person as I am that myself, but we must do it with strong, healthy boundaries so we don't empty our entire cup on everyone else leaving us with nothing left. ✨💗✨